by Sondra Marshak & Myrna Culbreath
Captain’s Personal Log. Dear Log: I love Spock sooooo much. He is my best BFF forever. I would die for him. He would die for me. Couldn’t you just die? LOL
This book picks up immediately after the prior one ends. And carries on just as insufferably, just as incomprehensibly, just as self-importantly, as the first one. But without the slash scenes, so you don’t even have that to help you get through it. I have no clue at all what the plot is.
Thoughts:
Is it really that big a deal for a man—an Alpha Male—to kneel before another being? *sigh* I consider Captain Picard and wonder what these lunatics made of him…
Swapping the gender norms–portraying men as weak and in need of special care, portraying women as leering, lustful animals–is just as stupid and dehumanizing as accepting the gender norms as they are.
WTF:
OMNE is everywhere!!! I never ever would’ve suspected with that name.
“His face caught up the challenge.”
“She kissed him on his consternation.”
The helmet/mask/cowl Kirk II wears ‘covers up a multitude of invitations to sin.’ But his mouth and eyes are still visible. So his hair and nose are invitations to sin…I guess.
Kirk is shocked and “feels the ground leaving from under him.”
There is an armed guard comprised of both sexes wearing chain mail and ‘little else.’
There is a lot of throwing each other clear; a lot of passing out.
There is a lot of carrying Kirk around, and as a short person who has been carried around (often against my will), I can tell you: it is infuriating and humiliating.
Let us speak in artful, obvious, circular phrasing, in not-quite-innuendo, in not-so-hidden meanings. Let us emasculate Kirk and hyper-masculinize Spock. Let us use the word certain numerous times in myriad ways until it loses all meaning. Let us dress Kirk in a loincloth, mask, and cape, treat him as a sexual pet, and have him blush often. Let us believe we are playing verbal chess even though we’re far from being mental giants.
Let us discuss the following subjects ad nauseum: What is a person’s price? Scripts. Honor. Exceptions. Challenge. Submission. Surrender. Obedience. Yielding. Power. Property of the Victor. Strength. Ownership. Nobility. Vows. Murder. Trust. Wolves. Lambs. Shepherds. Who will die for who.
We don’t even have the relief of the Hoyay. Heh. I said relief. Someone help me; I’m cracking up.
MindMeld as combat? Isn’t that kind of rapey?
The Romulan commander’s name is Dí’on. Yeah, that’s right. Modern American baby-naming practices come from the Romulans.
The Kirk/Spock friendship is legendary across the galaxy. I’m ashamed to use slashes now.
They propose a debate. I thought that’s what they were already doing! There is going to be MORE USELESS VERBIAGE? I. CAN’T. DO. IT.
By the end of the book we have:
- One (1) Romulan Commander
- One (1) Kirk stand-in/bodyguard
- Two (2) Kirks
- One and a half (1.5) Spocks
- One and a half (1.5) OMNEs
- (the 2 halves are OMNE in Spock’s body)
Even OMNE is stunned by this staggering turn of events.
OMNE kidnaps Kirk II and they are lost on the other side of a dimensional vortex. Together. For a thousand years. Or 53.725 years, whichever comes first. Either way, it will be too soon.
This is the last of the Bantam Star Trek novels. Next up: Pocket Books.
* Yes, that is supposed to be Kirk on the cover. I don’t know how any of us remained trekkies…
Thank you for your service.
Really. Because there was no way I was ever going to crack those spines again.
A housekeeping question: I take you’re not going to read the Blish & Foster novelizations of the show scripts? (Can’t blame you; as we’ve said earlier, it was very tough to be a Trekkie in the Seventies, when even your reading choices were re-runs..) And the fan stories in New Voyages 1 & 2, edited by Marshak & Culbreath? I highly ‘recommend’ the gender-flip written in “The Procrustean Petard” by M&C (who else?).
Let us never acknowledge these two books again.
I decided I needed to set some parameters for myself. This is already going to take a long time. And kill a few brain cells in the process. I will only be reviewing original novels. I adored “The New Voyages 1 & 2” (my favorite story is still the Spock/Phyllida water nymph!), as well as the “Strange New Worlds” series.
I think I feel I can’t analyze/question Blish or Foster for weird happenings in their novelizations since the ideas weren’t their own. I also don’t feel comfortable judging the work of writers who aren’t published pros. I guess I won’t be reviewing the movie novelizations, by my own guidelines…
I think I was able to remain a fan in the Trek Dark Ages because of Blish and Foster. They also introduced me to science fiction, as I went looking for other works by them. Maybe I’ll go back to all of these after I finish my…trek. If I’m still a trekkie ;)