by Howard Weinstein
“Shirn looked at each of them. His eyes were wet, and he embraced Kailyn, then McCoy, and finally Spock. ‘May the Winds of Kinarr be at your back, always.’ Spock raised his hand in the Vulcan salute. ‘Live long and prosper, Shirn.’ ‘You take good care of yourself, y’hear?’ said McCoy in a husky voice.”
Eighteen years ago in a situation reminiscent of the lead-up to the Iran Hostage Crisis, Kirk took part in a “police action” on the planet Shad and ended up evacuating the King and his family when civil war threatened to bring down the Federation-supported regime. The deposed king is taken away and protected and supported by the United States, I mean Federation. Now the civil war may be ending and the Enterprise is charged with returning the King to his rightful throne. However, the King is in poor health and is not expected to survive the journey. Instead his daughter Kailyn, accompanied by Spock and McCoy, must recover the Crown of the Covenant and prove she can wield it before she returns to claim the throne and end the civil war. If they fail, the Klingons will win the planet and the quadrant.
Spock, McCoy, and Kailyn end up stranded on a hostile planet, searching for the lost crown and pursued by Klingons. But don’t worry, once the Klingons land on the planet, they manage to do themselves in over the course of one short chapter. I don’t even know why they’re here. Great agents?
McCoy, who is wildly out of shape, falls in love with the 23-yr-old princess. He is preoccupied by his unstated age and thinks he’s getting old. Kailyn returns his love but she’s never had any type of romance before, so he mistrusts her feelings. I mistrust his. The doctor’s reactions to the princess are romantic, sexual, parental, brotherly, medical…
There are so many plot holes and plot contrivances and plain old plot mistakes, if I wrote them all down, I would likely have a book longer than the book being critiqued.
Random Thoughts Written Down as I Read:
Kirk and McCoy are in McCoy’s office as they step out of the turbolift to go to the mess.
All sorts of characters pace all over the place.
Admiral Harrington is suddenly blowing smoke rings from a cigar I didn’t know he was smoking.
Enterprise’s acceleration forces the crew deep into their seats.
Scotty has a brogue. Did you know he’s from Scotland?
Dr. Chapel is a gossip and is jealous about McCoy. (ha! You totally thought I was gonna say Spock, didn’t you?)
McCoy is a pretty fair psychologist. He is a psychiatric specialist.
Uhura hails the Klingons on all frequencies.
Chekov is 10 lbs overweight and exercises all the time.
Sulu forces Chekov to exercise.
PLOT CONTRIVANCES ugh! Kirk must disobey orders to fulfill his mission, but it’s never really clear why he can’t just clear it with Starfleet in the first place. Kirk is ordered to stop dead in space and remain motionless until a spy in the King’s party is captured, which keeps Enterprise from rescuing the two Starfleet officers and one Head of State stranded on a hostile planet.
There will be no sexual coupling between the Klingon Commander Kon and his science officer Kera, even though he leers at her and rape is a way of life on Klingon ships.
Now we are re-telling “The Galileo Seven:” stranded shuttlecraft, hairy giant humanoids attacking the survivors.
Now we are traveling to Shangri-la. Which is inhabited by Native Americans. Who perform ritual animal sacrifice.
Klingons Kon and Kera continue to consider coupling.
Spock looks strange to the 7-ft-tall fur-covered humanoids, but McCoy and Kailyn don’t?
There is a painfully long description of Spock rocking a tether post out of the ground so they can escape while McCoy snipes and doesn’t understand what Spock’s doing.
(From my hand-written notes:
this book is boring and I am stupid
this book is stupid and I am boring
this book is stupid and I am bored)
The summary on the back of the book promised me fantastic mental powers. WHERE ARE MY FANTASTIC MENTAL POWERS?
WTF:
“Most races aren’t Vulcans.”
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