The Kid by Dan Savage

I really, really liked this book. If you have ever read an article by Dan Savage, and found yourself shocked or disgusted, then do not read this book. If frank descriptions of  sex acts, issues with adopting “damaged goods kids” or the various reasons people procreate (Savage’s main reason – or so he claims – was the excuse to get fat, which I totally understand) offend you, then do not read this book. The man does not pull punches. I personally found his honesty incredibly refreshing, and loved his account of deciding to adopt with his boyfriend, specifically through an open adoption.

Like I said, The Kid follows Savage and his partner Terry’s decision to become parents. Savage had originally toyed with the idea when he was single, discussing it with a lesbian couple, a lesbian who was single and a straight next door neighbor. None of these avenues panned out, and when he met Terry, they decided to go the adoption route. At the time, open adoption was really the only method that would allow a gay couple to adopt, and even that was rare.

I didn’t realize when I started The Kid that Savage wrote it in 1999, and the events mainly took place in 1997-1998. Towards the beginning of the book, he makes it very clear that he did not expect to see gay marriage legalized in his lifespan (or even his child’s). In fact, when he and Terry started out on the adventure of adoption, states had just started to make adoptions by gay couples illegal, laws which are being challenged and overturned today. I expect Savage is rather pleased by that.

Like I said, Savage is brutally honest about everything he felt and experienced during the course of the adoption. I just loved that. He disclosed fights in his relationship, his doubts and fears about becoming a parent, and his issues with his family (and his in-laws). No sugarcoating to be found. His honesty made the book a fascinating read, and I personally devoured the whole thing in two days.