An affront to everything that makes books good.

I can’t remember the last time I have not finished a book. I don’t know that I have ever not finished a book. But I did not finish this one, Cannonballers.

This book was very similar to the entire Fifty Shades trilogy which — lest you wonder — I did finish. I read up to page 111 of The Sweet Spot, and I will spoil the content that happened up to that point, which shouldn’t upset you because you will not want to read this book unless it is a hate read.

Here’s the rub: Amanda is a successful but not famous restaurant owner. Chase is a VERY famous baseball player who eats at Amanda’s one night and decides he’d like to eat her. She hems, she haws, she eventually gives in. After much sexing, Chase starts getting antsy because what he’d really like to do is spank Amanda, but he’s not sure she’s into it. His angst starts affecting his baseball, and when Amanda calls him on his bad temper, he loses control and spanks her. She likes it? They have “amazing” sex. She’s confused about her feelings because she didn’t like it but maybe she secretly does? He’s patronizing about it. And that’s where I stopped.

Before I get into how fully incensed I was by all of that, I want to briefly mention that, in addition to how repulsive the story is, the prose is also atrocious. Unlike Fifty Shades, another book that is as abusive toward the very concept of kink and BDSM as it is toward its protagonist, this book was NOT self-published, so at the very minimum, this should have been proofread for grammar and punctuation. Instead, the reader is neck-deep in misplaced ‘whoms’ and clunky sentences. The writing also exemplified the grave mistake of telling, not showing. There is so much exposition and so few moments that allow us to breathe with the characters and experience whatever they are allegedly feeling when they first get together.

All of that goes to say that I was a little annoyed and bored by this book, but not fatally so. To illustrate the drastic turn that occurred over the course of two scenes, I’m just going to provide a few choice quotes.

Without any prior discussion, AND with Amanda visibly struggling against his grip, Chase says:

“Amanda, in ten seconds, I’m going to full-on spank you. If you really don’t already know why, we’ll discuss it later. You can fight me, accept it, or call the cops when it’s over, but make no mistake, little girl, it’s about to happen.”

When Amanda tries to get answers the next day about what happened:

“And if we keep seeing each other, it’s something you’ll want to do again?”

“I will.” He nodded, still grinning. He took a sip of his coffee, his eyes still focused on the comics.

His two-word, nonchalant answers and perceived lack of interest was starting to completely unnerve her. She hadn’t even come out directly to say what she was talking about and he was behaving like they had entered into a pact that only he was privy to.

“What if I don’t want you to?”

Chase finally looked up from his paper, his eyes spearing her from across the granite island. “Then you better not be naughty.”

And what is ‘naughty’? Well, she swore, so:

… “you zeroed right in on my biggest pet peeve. Ladies should talk like ladies. You timed it perfectly; my palm had really begun to itch…”

For her part, Amanda kind of gets what’s going on, but she’s understandably REALLY FRAKKING CONFUSED:

“I never said I liked it,” she replied too quickly, blushing furiously in her epic-fail attempt to stare him down.

“Women don’t make the kind of love you did last night after being deeply offended. You were amazing.” He winked at her.

Amanda blinked, and her eyes filled with tears. It was like he was poking fun at a weakness in her. She wasn’t supposed to be acting like she’d be willing to let him do it again, let alone at his discretion…

There’s also this gem:

She could never be accused of being a delicate flower, but last night went beyond aggressive sex. And her feminist school of thought was, if you let a guy hit you once, it’s like giving him permission to make you his punching bag.

FEMINISM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY

I could go on. I’m not mining for awfulness; the entire scene consists of Amanda crying, trying to sort through her feelings, and Chase giving her nothing other than “Well, you had great sex with me after, so clearly you loved it.” And of course, the whole thing plays right into that trope of the woman unlocking some sort of desire had all along but never knew about. It’s a lazy way for authors to dig their heroes out of tight spots, because if she likes when he hits her, then it’s not really abuse, right? I implore writers: STOP DOING THIS. THIS IS NOT HOW BDSM WORKS. Guys who like to hit women during sex without discussing it with those women first are not Doms unlocking hidden desires; they are assholes who abuse power structures and appropriate the language of the (safe, sane, and consensual) kink community. Even Christian Grey, who did so many things wrong, had the sense to tell Anastasia what he was into and ask her to agree with it before he proceeded; he did it in a coercive way, so clearly he’s not a role model either, but I have to give him credit for at least warning her beforehand.

I just have nothing else to say. This book was bad and Stephanie Evanovich should feel bad.