“He Texted?” Even the title sounds too high school for me

I received this book through NetGalley, some months ago, and have had a hard time reviewing it. I like to give all the books a fair shake, and I especially don’t like to write reviews were I didn’t like the book. But. I just didn’t like this book.

Part of that is that the format – sample texts and responses from the ladies who wrote the book and a ‘panel’ of male text-perts who supposedly help them decipher the (apparently) unreadable text messages and offer their advice- was just not a good fit for me. I like a good Agony Aunt column as much as the next person, but you have to strike a certain tone, create a strict balance between ‘this person is trustworthy and will give me good advice’ and ‘this person is also good at being humorous and providing interesting anecdotes that apply to my situation’, and – unfortunately for me, these authors missed the mark on that. Between the guys, who ranged from condescending to creepy (at points), to the authors, who seemed determined to try to make me appreciate the ‘help’ the guys were giving, it was a no-go all around.

I also had a really hard time believing the book’s own hype – that “busy, intelligent, modern women” would somehow require a dude-bro’s opinion on whether or not a text means that a guy is trying to ‘get into her pants’ or not. I mean, I get that textual communications can sometimes lose nuances – say, subtlety or sarcasm – but there’s really only so many meanings for “I’m mad attracted to you,” and I’m not sure any self-respecting woman would need all that much help parsing them out. (Seriously: That was an example given in the book.) And some of the advice veers way into “Guys don’t like girls who YYY or ZZZ” territory, when I’m pretty sure that most “intelligent, modern women” are clued into the fact that the right guy is going to like what SHE does, regardless.

Also, also: Yes – hetero-normative, cis-gendered, completely vanilla dating advice that assumes all people want stereotypical relationships that fall along traditional gender lines, and plays into so many stereotypes that I didn’t even think people still believed (“If you’re not super casual, he’ll think you’re a psycho bitch”) and I’m ….not sure those are even valid constructs any more, at this point in time? Or maybe they are, but certainly not with the people I hang out with, so either the book is out of step, or I am way more out of step than I thought I was.

Definitely not the dating book for me, however.  Good luck to the ladies who would take this advice, because some of it made me want to cry just thinking about it.