Mommy Wars, circa 1899

Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her.

This classic of American Literature is the tragic story of Edna Pontellier as she awakens to the reality of her own desires and the limits her world places upon them. Like Edith Wharton’s House of Mirth, this novel shows the unfairness of restrictions that men and society at large placed on women, and women’s growing realization of and frustration with them. Chopin wrote it in 1899, when the Victorian ideal of the “angel of the hearth” held sway over the middle and upper classes in the US, and women who spoke up and asserted their rights and equality were seen as unnatural, an aberration. Chopin’s beautifully written story demonstrates the alienation and devastation of a woman expected to sublimate herself in all things, always.

The story begins during summer on a resort island in the Gulf, not far from New Orleans. The Pontelliers — Mr. Pontellier, 28-year-old Edna, and their two small boys — are spending the summer at the Lebrun cottages along with several other families. The Pontelliers are reasonably well off, and Mr. Pontellier is both proud of his possessions (wife included) and on the lookout for opportunities to expand his wealth and influence. He frequently leaves his family to go to the club for dining and gambling, yet complains of Edna’s inattention to the children and himself. Edna recognizes that she is not one of the “mother-women,” i.e.,

…women who idolized their children, worshiped their husbands, and esteemed it a holy privilege to efface themselves as individuals and grow wings as ministering angels.

While vacationing, Edna becomes close to Robert Lebrun, the 26-year-old son of the woman who owns the cottages. He is educated, charming and shows great deference to Edna. Initially reserved and, it seems, somewhat bored with her life, Edna begins to grow fond of Robert. Mr. P seems unconcerned with Robert and friend Madame Ratignolle sees nothing untoward in the relationship, but old Mademoiselle Reisz, the grouchy but talented pianist, sees what is really happening between the two. As Edna’s feelings for Robert grow warmer, she develops new interest in her art (drawing), learns to swim and cultivates a friendship with Mademoiselle Reisz. Edna, a realist from a young age, “… had apprehended instinctively the dual life — that outward existence that conforms, the inward life that questions;” yet she increasingly feels the inherent unfairness in this arrangement and unhappiness with her life. When summer draws to a close and Robert leaves abruptly for Mexico, Edna returns to her grand home in New Orleans determined to make a change regardless of her husband’s resistance to it. She is a very different woman, and her old life cannot satisfy her. Mr. Pontellier worries that she is becoming mentally unbalanced.

He could see plainly that she was not herself. …he could not see that she was becoming herself and daily casting aside that fictitious self which we assume like a garment with which to appear before the world.

Edna does seem to be suffering from depression, particularly after Robert’s return to New Orleans. Mr. Pontellier, who remains oblivious to the reasons for his wife’s condition, consults the family doctor. The doctor actually understands and has sympathy for Edna’s situation, and he tries to offer her help and advice. Sadly, it is for naught. Edna tells him “… perhaps it is better to wake up after all, even to suffer, rather than to remain a dupe to illusions all one’s life.”

Even if you aren’t familiar with The Awakening, you can probably guess what’s going to happen at the end. While the lot of women has improved since 1899, many women still feel torn, like Edna, between doing what makes them feel whole and happy and doing what society dictates they ought to do. The “mommy wars” of today certainly demonstrate that. In some respects, we haven’t come as far as we ought, and that’s what makes The Awakening as timely today as it was 100 year ago.