A while back I was listening to this Marc Maron podcast in which he interviews our beloved Allie Brosh.
First– we all know and love Allie, right? Oh my god you guys, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to her webcomic/blog immediately, please! You won’t be sorry. She is hilarious and brilliant and illustrates stories from her life with a paintbrush program and it’s amazing. And the really special thing about her comics is that she can talk about serious topics– like self-esteem, introversion, and her own severe struggles with depression– and she does it so beautifully and truthfully that sometimes, I swear that was the way I was thinking about the same topic, but I just didn’t have the talent to put it into words.
And her paintbrush pictures are incredibly expressive and delightful.
I’m fairly certain I don’t have to talk her up that much, because she’s kind of an internet celebrity, and rightly so.
Anyway. For an internet celebrity, Allie is actually a pretty private person. She didn’t update her blog for over a year after her “Adventures in Depression” post, which terrified us, and she’s only updated a few times since. So it’s not a big surprise that the internet doesn’t know exactly what’s going on with her, but still– did you guys know her sister died? Almost a year ago?
I don’t know how appropriate it is for me to be sad and worried for someone whom I’ve never met, but I feel close to because of a one-sided internet relationship. But here I am. Allie’s sister Kaiti was manic depressive, and “ended it.” And I feel so terrible for them.
So, I’ve been depressed before, and I’m sure I’ll be depressed again. I know what Allie’s talking about when she writes that it’s almost a relief when your depression gets so bad that you just stop feeling anything, because at least feeling nothing is easier than pain. For a while.
And the analogy about the dead fish is perfect. The guy asking, “Why not just make them be alive again,” might as well be my dad saying “DON’T BE DEPRESSED,” and me saying, like, sure dad. I can definitely just decide to do that, for you. And my boyfriend is the guy who used to say, “Your fish aren’t dead, they’re only sleeping! They’ll be okay! Stop worrying!”
I relate to this so much.
Later in the podcast, Allie said she’s working on a new book, and that she wants to write about her sister. I haven’t been in her current situation, but other people have, and other people will. And I bet they could really use someone to relate to, someone who can make them feel like they aren’t alone, someone who can write something coherent that their friends can read and maybe understand what they’re going through, or at least understand that they don’t understand.
Allie Brosh’s book is important and beautiful. And it’s also adorable, and hilarious.
Her next one probably be as important and beautiful. I really hope she keeps writing. And I hope she’s okay.
Wow, I definitely didn’t know that about her sister. Wasn’t that around when the book was released? Man, I’m worried about her, too. I hope she’s okay. Thanks for the lovely review :)
Oh no, I had no idea about her sister. That’s so sad. I hope she’s ok. I adore Allie Brosh and her webcomics and bought this book as a present for pretty much all of my friends last year. As someone whose husband is bipolar, her comics about depression are actually really good illustrations for me to use to explain how difficult an affliction it is, and to show people what my husband and I live with.
I didn’t know about her sister, either. She’s so wonderful and sweet. I got my book at a signing and she drew little pictures for everyone.
Just learned about this! How do you know the situation with her sister? That it wasn’t an accident? I was unable to read anything about it online. Allie Brosh’s work is so inspiring. This is tragic news.
It was not an accident. Very strangely, I came to discover Allie Brosh as a result of her sister’s suicide. I read on railroads and have a particular interest in rail vs. public accidents and prevention. I read about the crash and I believe I typed in the last name to see if there was more about it, and I discovered Allie Brosh! After a time, I think maybe after the obituary was published with Allie listed, I realized they were sisters. It wasn’t hard to know it was a suicide long before it was announced, as the family asked contributions to go towards the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
I was struck with how Allie characterized her depression as being for no reason, and how she would disappear for long periods. I thought how that wasn’t a point of humor anymore, as now she had a reason, on top of her innate depression. I read a bit about her sister and she seemed like a good person. I am glad she is, however slowly, appearing and writing.
Interesting, someone I knew many years ago died, and when I found her obituary long afterward, it only said “died suddenly.” However in googling the family name, I found a mention of a donation to a suicide foundation. I assumed the worst as well.