I’m new to CBR this year, and you all seem to really like your romances. Outside of the classics and a few mainstreams, I have yet to get the genre to really speak to me. I’m pretty pragmatic by nature, so I’m not easily swept away. My dislike for romance makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me, not that there’s something wrong with romances. So I try and try again.
So, here we are. Again. Someone (I’m sorry I can’t remember who), mentioned Goodreads’ Vaginal Fantasy book club (Felicia Day is the Grand Dutchess), which chooses romances with a strong female lead (yay!). Cupcakes, Trinkets, and Other Deadly Magic is this month’s choice. And it was free for Kindle! The odds were stacked in my favor.
Except that this story isn’t a romance. It’s a mystery, and a weak one at that.
Jade is a half-witch, living in Vancouver with her witch grandmother, and her foster sister Sienna. She owns a cupcake bakery, and her cupcakes make 9,000,000 appearances in the book and they all sound delicious. Jade is a Dowser, which means she attracts magic and she can sense different kinds of magic. When some murders take place in the magical community, Jade suddenly finds herself being sought out by vampires and werewolves, first as a suspect, and then as a way to track the real perpetrator.
I had to go back and check, and Goodreads does indeed have this tagged as a romance. But outside of meeting one character that Jade “could have loved”, there is no romance. Which should be great for me, but c’mon, I was trying to stretch here! The mystery is blazingly obvious from very early on. So much so, that I was waiting and waiting for the “real killer” plot to emerge, as so many obvious clues could only be red herrings. Nope. The last quarter of the book was a boring breeze as I sped to the inevitable conclusion.
The other thing that super-super bugged me is a lot of weird brand placement. Jade needs to go on some terrifying outing with a vampire and werewolves, and it specifies that she chooses her Hunter High-Gloss whatever boots. Huh? It’s jarring, and will eventually date the book. There were also very traumatic scenarios for Jade that would be followed by her thoughts about how her hair looked, or how she changed into her “tank top and panties”. I don’t think girls say “panties”. Girl should have been catatonic.
This didn’t work out for me, but it’s not a strike against romances. I’m free to try again. The right romance is out there for me. Maybe I am a romantic at heart, after all.
There’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t like romance, or any thing wrong with romance, it’s just personal taste. This book sounds silly and thinly plotted. Also the heroine who worries about how her hair looks after a traumatic event makes me crazy.
Melanir has already reviewed this book, a little while back (I’m sure you can search for her review) and absolutely panned it. Her review made me decide not to read the book after all (I do try to read the Vaginal Fantasy picks most months, if I haven’t already read them) and your review just reassured me that I was right to do so. I think Bonnie Burton and I may have very different tastes in books.
Do you not like romances (which is totally fine btw) or have you not found the ones for you. For example I’m almost exclusively a historical romance type. Many here have expanded into new adult and while I’ve dipped in, if there aren’t corsets and ballrooms I’m generally out. Maybe it’s not worth the effort or maybe romance isn’t your thing, but maybe it’s a sub genre issue?
Probably just haven’t found the ones for me.
Aw, boo. I was going to read this for VF and I don’t know if I should bother. Maybe if I want to get a rage review out of my system?
Romance novels aren’t everyone’s crack! I have returned to the genre, after periods of reading exclusively about mysteries, then vampires…but whatever you enjoy is the main thing! This book sounds bad, no matter what kind of label was attached to it!
Having not read the book (because life’s too short to read awful books unless I want to hate-review), I can’t comment on this book exactly. But it does indeed sound like this is just a badly written book and that it doesn’t even qualify as a romance. Please do not judge romance or even paranormal fantasy by the standards of this book. They’ve read a lot of really good books over the years in Vaginal Fantasy (although I will admit their hit rate is not always great and the good books can be few and far between). If you are curious about the romance genre as a whole, Mrs. Julien pretty much reads the genre exclusively, and I read it a LOT. You can search our old reviews or just go to our websites for recommendations.
If you’re more into paranormal fantasy with or without a romantic twist, I would be happy to make suggestions. I feel as though I’ve read most things out there by now (I haven’t).
UGH YES. And I love your point about how mentioning brand names will date the book eventually. This really bothers me a lot. Those mentions are put in to make the character sound fashionable, but all they do is date her. And may actually backfire and make her sound more like a fashion victim if you’re reading it even two/three or five years after the publication date.
Thanks for the votes of confidence, everyone :) I really do read all over the map…my favorites are dystopian and what Goodreads calls “literary fiction”, but I try a bit of everything. I flew through all of Saga this year on emmalita’s recommendation, I love a good mystery or YA now and then, and right now I’m trying some sci-fi and loving it.
My romance reading history is rockier. As a teen I’d swipe all my grandmother’s Danielle Steel paperbacks. I love classics like Romeo and Juliet or Wuthering Heights. But in the post-Christian Grey romance revival, I’m not having much luck. I tried 50 Shades (ick), a J.A. Redmerski (nope), something historical, and a New Adult title by Leah Raeder….all fails for me. I liked Mistress of Rome by Kate Quinn very much and also enjoyed Me Before You.
I think my favorite romantic theme would be unrequited love or love across societal barriers…not a big fan of romantic awakening themes or what I perceive to be made-up drama (“I’m a good girl and he’s a bad boy!”). Character development is a must in any genre. You are all pros…any recommendations for this struggling reader?
(We need an acronym for someone who has a favorite book in all genres…like EGOT only for bookshelves.)
Have you tried Julia Quinn? I think her third Bridgerton book An Offer from a Gentleman might be a good fit for you. It has a love across societal barriers/love went missing thing happening and both leads are interesting and evolve. I think Malin is in the middle of a reread of the series, so she might have a review coming up, and I’m working my way through the series (just finished book 5 this weekend!) and I LOVED it, but I’m a huge fan of a fairytale retell (Cinderella) and historical anything.
Here’s my very short review if you want to take a gander: https://faintingviolet.wordpress.com/2015/09/16/cbr7-an-offer-from-a-gentleman-cbr7-76/
I can certainly give it a try! I appreciate the thoughtful assistance (and Gus gifs) :)