This may be cause for a mutiny

So, I get this message from Patty the other day: “You won’t believe this, but the new Kristen Ashley is kinda good.” Evidently all of my pain in the past wasn’t enough for her. I mean, this is practically a double dog dare to make me read the book. Why does she do this to me??? I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall while she points and laughs.

Bounty is book 7 in Kristen Ashley’s Colorado Mountain series. Or maybe book 8. I guess it doesn’t really matter – I’ve lost track at this point. WAIT. IT DOES MATTER. HOW MUCH NECK GRABBING TORTURE HAS PATTY INFLICTED ON ME? Because I’ve read them all. MY EYES. THEY BURN.

I honestly don’t remember what this one is about at this point other than to say it was better written technically than many of her other selections. There weren’t as many oddly structured sentences, and the story flowed pretty well. Shockingly so for an Ashley, actually.

Oh, wait. This one is about a singer song writer who is third generation rock ‘n’ roll royalty and the biker dude/contractor who loves her. Needless to say, insane shit happens. Nothing as nuts as getting buried alive like in book five (or was it four?), but still so unbelievable that eye rolling is required.

Sort of a running joke in this very special episode is that it acknowledges every single ridiculous event that happens earlier in the series, swears it doesn’t happen anymore, and then the book proceeds to follow the exact same story structure. It’s almost like the entire book is mocking itself on one six hundred page meta moment.

I don’t know what it is about these books, but they are the literary equivalent of crack. Or maybe heroin. You know it’s bad for you, that you should stay away, but someone you trust pushes you too give it a try and you wind up addicted. PATTY.