Warning – this post is political in nature, and a little bit of my … ahem… anger? Disappointment? Total confusion about the state of our country?… leaked through, which is to be expected, I think, given the nature of the book, and of our country right now. If you’re not ready to read stuff about people being disappointed about how things could have gone, or if you’re on Team Trump, I just want to give you a heads up: this is not for you, and that’s OK. We’re all still kicking cancer ass together. (And I deleted what could only be an inflaming commentary here, so really, this is the best I can manage right now… mostly not pissed off, and trying to warn you ahead of time.)
This parody about perpetual nice guy – and should be preparing to be Vice President right now, oops sorry totally not having another breakdown about that – Tim Kaine is pretty awesome. Based off of a tweet Benincasa made about Kaine liking the Dave Matthews Band (that turned out to be true), this book is sweet and hilarious and hideously depressing to think about in lieu of recent events. Still, it’s worth a smile or three, if you can bear to think of the alternate universe of what should/could have been. (Also the AU of the dad you wanted but never had, probably, but Holy Crap: I’ve already had two breakdowns writing this review, so … moving on.)
Instead of focusing on all THAT, let’s read some of the ridiculous highlights of this hug of a book, shall we:
Chapter 13 Tim Kaine Wants Your Friend To Know They Can Always Stay In The Bonus Room If They Need To –
Not everybody has a happy home. Families go through difficulties. Some families have deep conflicts that nothing can heal. But your friend is a good kid who treats others with kindness, dignity, and respect. Your friend has a lot of potential and deserves love. And your friend should know that there’s a nice pullout sofa in the bonus room and plenty of good things to eat.Chapter 12 – What Tim Kaine Will In An Aquatic Recreational Situation –
Tim Kaine will swim. Tim Kaine will waterski. Tim Kaine will raft. Tim Kaine will kayak. Tim Kaine will canoe. Tim Kaine will NOT get on the Sea-Doo. It’s a long story.Chapter 11 Tim Kaine Would Like To Reiterate Something Important About Your Love Life –
Now you know you can bring home anybody of any creed, color, gender identification, political persuasion, nation of origin, ability status, and so on and so forth and they will be welcomed with open arms into the Kaine family. As long as they’re nice to you.
And finally:
Chapter 18 Tim Kaine Politely But Firmly Told The NRA To Go Straight To Hell –
Tim Kaine Politely But Firmly Told The NRA To Go Straight To Hell I’m paraphrasing here, but this is the only thing in this book he actually did. And he did it in Virginia.
Thank you, Ms. Benincasa, for the much needed laughs. And thank you, Tim Kaine, for trying to be our country’s Nice Dad. Sorry some people screwed that up for you/us. *
*Also: I just saw on her Twitter feed that she’s working on a second book, Hilary Clinton is Hiking, and I hope that it comes out ASAP, for heart healing purposes.
I so need to read this right now.
Ditto