When Darkness Yawns

It’s been a stressful few weeks (months?) and I’ve been trying to escape into audiobooks. This time there was no escape. It was a slog. Why did I finish it? I’m not really sure. Probably I didn’t feel like looking for something else to listen to.

This is a garbage-y vampire novel and lives up to all its stereotypes. There’s a woman, small and so beautiful it hurts. There’s a vampire, manly and muscly and so beautiful it hurts. There’s a curse, a spirit of sorts, that takes up residence in the woman because she’s the closest thing to hand. There are demons trying to kill the woman. There are evil wizards trying to kill the woman. There’s a second vampire, so beautiful it hurts, that loves sports cars and guns. Why? No idea. There’s a spell keeping the spirit in the woman. There’s a mysterious book of “bad poetry” that turn out to be spells. There’s a mysterious half demon with shining bronze skin, enslaved to a coven of witches. There’s a coven of witches hidden someplace that smells of rotting wheat (no joke, that’s how they find it, looking for a place that smells like rotting wheat). There’s a bloody battle between wizards and witches. There’s an evil witch that wants to offer the beautiful woman as a human sacrifice. There are creatures that have lived for centuries (including the vampires and the witches). Did I mention they’re in Chicago for some reason?

Anyway, that’s pretty much all I remember. Cliches on top of cliches wrapped in a cover that screams “cliche.”