I have a newish part time job teaching an ethics class for kids on Sunday mornings. I thought I was going to be teaching 10 – 13 yr olds, but instead I have 4 – 6 yr olds. I was taken aback at first, but now I am delighted. The kids are great and they make me laugh every session.
One morning recently, three of the 4 year olds came in with mothers who were clearly at the ends of their respective ropes. I was having a hard time getting the kids to focus, so I looked in the magic cupboard and found When Mommy Was Mad. Ok kids, storytime!
Christopher and Robbie’s mom is banging things around, not smiling, or playing with them. Robbie, the younger brother, is having a hard time dealing with Mommy’s feelings. First, Robbie is worried that he did something wrong. Then he tries to get her to smile and play. Finally, he gets angry too and starts yelling “bork!”
Robbie is not accusing his mother of being failed Supreme Court nominee and eighteenth century facial hair enthusiast Robert Bork. He is accusing her of being a prickly porcupine and he needs her to be soft.
This book was exactly what the kids needed, especially the youngest boy, who like Robbie, was internalizing his mother’s feelings. We acted out what being a porcupine looked like and what being soft looked like. I let the kids act out the things Robbie did to get his mother’s attention and we talked about what finally worked.
Four year olds center everything around themselves. They don’t understand that other people have internal lives that are separate. I have no illusions that I taught the kids a lesson that they remembered the next day. I did give them a way to work out the feelings they were having that day and I hope I planted a seed. When class was over I showed the book to all the parents and explained why their children might start running into them yelling “bork!”
There are a lot of books in the magic cupboard, but this one is the first that got the kids thinking about what I wanted them to think about. Petra Mathers’ childlike illustrations were friendly and accessible. The story was printed in crayon, as if a child had written it. It didn’t make Mommy wrong for being mad, or Robbie wrong for being scared, frustrated, and angry. I would recommend it to any parent of small children.
I love what you’re doing with the children, the Magic Cupboard is a great idea! I wonder how you have the patience with them; if this book got them involved (I think that’s more to your credit) and able to understand even a bit, it’s a great success. It’s all about how we read the book to them, that would leave some imprint on them. I love this review.
Thanks. I only have to have patience for just under 2 hours a week and I get paid, so it’s pretty easy.
“When class was over I showed the book to all the parents and explained why their children might start running into them yelling ‘bork!'”
This is all I can picture now. Thank you.
You’re welcome?
I love picturing you surrounded by four-year-olds engrossed by story time. I can imagine trying to teach kids that young about ethics isn’t the easiest job in the world.
The ESA philosophy is Deed Before Creed, so it’s mostly introducing them to ideas and then encouraging sharing, kindness, and community. And a lot of redirecting behavior.