Here is a brief list of things that I enjoy more than I enjoyed this book:
Getting my teeth cleaned.
A colonoscopy.
Going to the grocery store.
Making three interesting & healthy bag lunches every day for my kids.
Helping with math homework.
Doing laundry.
Driving on the beltway.
Shoveling snow.
Dusting.
Vacuuming my car.
Cleaning up confetti.
Eating radishes.
Here’s a list of what I did like about this book:
Exploding whales.
I did not like this book.
I got it from some sort of Kindle deal of the day, and I had remembered reading a review of it in Entertainment Weekly, and said, hey, this sounds good. It was a bestseller! It won a few literary awards!
Curse you, Entertainment Weekly. Curse you and your subjective book review grades.
This is a story about a bunch of insufferable WASPs gathering on a Nantucket-esque island for the wedding of one family’s WASPy daughter to another family’s WASPy son. Everyone is horrible and priveledged and I wanted to punch them all in the face. Repeatedly.
So much talk about why it’s so important to join the right sort of club, and what it means to be accepted into the right social setting, and blah blah blah. I really just can’t be bothered to tell you any more about it. I just can’t spend another second thinking about it.
In short: this is bad. Don’t read it. Go get a colonoscopy instead.
You can read all of my reviews — mostly of books I actually liked! — on my blog.
This book must be really bad. Cleaning up confetti is second only to cleaning up glitter as The Worst.
When I was making my list of things that were terrible, there were only two items I crossed off.
I would have been lying if I had said that this book was worse than cleaning up glitter or getting a mammogram.
Is making “interesting” lunch a thing, like wearing Loubitinis to school pickup, where you live? Because I’m only required to make lunch semi-healthy, not interesting. Please don’t tell my kids that “interesting” happens elsewhere.
Alexis, my kids make up so many lunch rules. They can’t have the same thing two days in a row. They don’t want the same as their siblings. sometimes I play along, but sometimes I just can’t!
I really, honestly, not lying, like to get my teeth cleaned.
But still. Don’t read this book.
Well that sounds perfectly horrible. Will avoid at all costs. (Because: Helping with Math homework. If it’s worse than that? I don’t wanna know about it, for sure.)
I threw this book across the room after the father of the bride repeatedly creep-hugged the manic pixie maid of honor on their immaculately landscaped back lawn. I hope all the characters died in a cleansing fire at the wedding at the end of the book. Please say this is so.
Your ending would have been better.
Let’s just pretend that’s what happens.
Although, I will keep the scene where after the rehearsal dinner the drunk father climbs up on the roof of the house belonging to his nemesis, yanks off the weathervane, and plummets to the ground.
I will not keep the part where he lands on a heap of mulch and walks away, totally fine.
Basically, this book should have been more like And Then There Were None. Or a coyote should have eaten all of them. But I guess not all books can be that awesome.