May the Force be with you

“If anyone reads this when I have passed to the big bad beyond I shall be posthumorously embarrassed. I shall spend my entire afterlife blushing.”

Carrie Fisher is an icon. Even kids today know that white dress and the hairdo, made famous in a movie forty years old. Having been introduced to Star Wars at a young age by my brothers, I’ve found that I know the films so well that I can’t even look at them critically. They’ve just always been a part of my life. I’ve also always liked Carrie Fisher, whether it was in Star Wars or When Harry Met Sally, and when she began doing publicity for her new book, bringing her partner Gary along with her, I knew I wanted to read it.

I requested the audio CD’s from my library because I wanted Carrie Fisher’s story in her own words. It took months and months before it was finally available. And in those months, Carrie Fisher had passed away. This changed the book from something of a romp into something of an elegy.

The parts I remember most about this book were also the parts that Fisher talked about on the talk show circuit: the fact that she couldn’t wear a bra under that famous white dress and her affair with Harrison Ford. Fisher is very honest as she describes her naivete and insecurity on her first movie. She just wanted everyone to like her. She doesn’t go into too much detail about Harrison, but she is very honest about the emotional impact the affair had on her.

“I suspect that no matter what happens I will allow it to hurt me. Eat away at my insides, as it were–as it will be. As it always has been. Why am I so accessible? Why do I give myself to people who will always and should always remain strangers? I have always relied on the cruelty of strangers and I must stop it now.”

The glimpses Fisher gives into the making of Star Wars and her relationship with Harrison Ford were the most interesting parts of the book for me. Fisher also includes excerpts from her diary at the time. These are very raw and honest, but sometimes difficult to digest–especially listening to them in my car. I often found myself wishing that I had the hard copy to look at.

In the end, Fisher discusses her fandom and when she started signing autographs for money. It felt a little random to me, but she continued to be her insightful and original self. “–when men approach me to let me know that I was their fist love, lets just say I have mixed feelings. Why did all these men find it so easy to be in love with me then and so complex to be in love with me now?”

I was waiting for this book for quite a long time, and I was very happy to read it. Looking back, I wish I had gone with the hard copy. As much as I liked hearing Fisher speak, I sometimes have problems concentrating and really taking in audio books. I likely would have gotten more out of it if I’d been able to read her words in black and white. Please keep in mind, that this review might have been more positive had I read the book in a different from. My admiration for her, though, remains unchanged.

Find all of my reviews on my blog.