Blah blah blah fried chicken blah blah blah Stephanie’s car gets totaled blah blah blah Stephanie makes a bad decision.

I keep saying that I won’t read more of these. And yet, here we are.

I think the fact that I can read these books in one sitting makes me feel like they aren’t so bad, that they’re fine, that I’m just spending an afternoon enjoying something light and enjoyable.

But I’m not really enjoying them anymore, so what’s my deal?

So here’s the story:

Zombies have come to Trenton. And they are stealing brains from dead bodies.

Meanwhile, Diesel is in town and sleeping in Stephanie’s bed. So now she has three gorgeous men who want to spend the night with her? OK then.

Also, Stephanie and Lula have to track down the usual bunch of weirdos. Lots of garden gnomes and a giant snake to keep them busy.

Lastly, Grandma Mazur has taken up online dating and is on her way to Florida to meet up with her new boyfriend, who looks just like George Hamilton.

Of course, everything works out in the end. Except for the most important thing — Stephanie still has no freaking idea what to do with her life and can’t stop fooling around with Ranger and is pretty much playing house with Morelli and has Diesel sleeping in her bed and I want to murder her.

Yes, they ate lots of fried chicken and donuts and drank many pitchers of beer. Plus burgers and meatloaf and pot roast and macaroni salad. I think my favorite part of these books is reading about what Stephanie eats.

And yes, Stephanie totaled two (maybe more? I think two) cars in this book. Where is Ranger getting all of these black cars? And why doesn’t he mind when she totals them hours after she gets them? Just how charming is Stephanie? In 24 books, how many cars has she wrecked? Should she still have access to car insurance?

I guess Stephanie is never going to change, and I need to just accept that and move on. But you know that I won’t, and I’ll be here next year bitching about the same things in book 25.