Everyone welcome back BadKittyUno!
For CBR Bingo’s Two Heads are Better than One square I dragged my darling sister out of retirement to help me write my review of The Autobiography of Gucci Mane (which, for all his clever album titles, is the most pedestrian title for an autobiography possible). We have no idea how to write a review together so please enjoy this semi-coherent arrangements of thoughts we had while reading.
CD: Gucci Mane looks exactly how someone named Gucci Mane should look.
BKU: That’s exactly right.
CD: So Gucci Mane was born Radric Davis in Bessemer, Alabama and he is actually Gucci Mane Jr. His father was called Gucci for his love of fashion and Mane is apparently a Southern way of saying Man. Gucci Senior wasn’t around much when Radric was growing up but his mother’s extended family were always close by. On a bit of a whim Mama Gucci moved her two sons to Atlanta where they eventually reconnected with Gucci Senior. They had no money, Gucci Senior was a chronic gambler with a drinking problem, and a prepubescent Gucci took to selling weed buy fashionable clothes.
BKU: Gucci Junior definitely took away ALL the wrong lessons from Gucci senior.
CD: Eventually Gucci began selling harder drugs and partaking in lean (which he was essentially allergic to and therefore had psychotic episodes related to his drug use) before deciding he wanted to be a rapper.
BKU: FYI, if y’all don’t know (cuz I didn’t) lean is the same thing as purple drank — aka, ingesting large quantities of codeine cough syrup. Which sounds disgusting. But it would definitely make you lean.
CD: And Trap Houses are just another term for crack dens. You need to know that one too.
CD: So now Gucci is a rapper and he keeps introducing rappers like I should know who they are and then I remember I am, like, translucent white and probably not his target audience. If I was Neil I would not have put my name on this…
CD: This is Neil.
BKU: Ah Neil. He’s even whiter than you.
CD: This is taking me so much longer to read than it should because it is so bad I keep putting it down to do anything else! *Badkittyuno has now finished Gucci Mane Caitlin_D is on page 57*
BKU: It was the perfect book to read while drinking at the airport.
CD: Who doesn’t caption the photos in their autobiography???
CD: “There’s no good time to find out you’re wanted for murder, but learning like that, right there on the set of Rap City, fucked me up” is my new favorite line in all of literature.
BKU: I’m glad we are appreciating this on the same level
CD: I’m skipping over the pages of rap lyrics. Do you think that will affect my experience?
CD: Oh he just mentioned two rappers I know, Fat Joe and Lil Wayne!
CD: Oh my God he snuck out of rehab to make an album with a title that poked fun at him violating his parole? I wanna say “ugh, youths” but I think he is like 10 years older than me.
BKU: Isn’t it amazing how VASTLY different some people’s life experiences are?
CD “The circumstances under which I’d learned I was a father weren’t ideal- almost a year after his birth, to a woman I wasn’t in a relationship with” is the second best line in all of literature.
BKU: I might get it tattooed on my body. Speaking of, have you gotten to the part about the ice cream cone tattoo?
CD: Not yet.
BKU: Something to look forward to!
CD: You have to admit he has pretty cute album titles. The State vs. Radric Davis and Georgia’s Most Wanted: The Appeal… clever marketing.
CD: Oh my God I’ve gotten to the part about the ice cream tattoo!!!
BKU: It’s AMAZING!
CD: In case you don’t choose to read The Autobiography of Gucci Mane our beloved Gucci leaves a mental hospital and, before he goes to court, gets an ice cream cone tattooed on his face.
CD: “A US soldier was claiming I’d struck him across the head with a champagne bottle at Harlem Nights. But that incident didn’t happen on March 27th. It happened at 1:00 a.m. the night of March 16th, a few hours after I’d told the world I was dropping Waka.” I’m sorry, is he arguing the semantics of his ASSAULT on a veteran?
BKU: I’m really enjoying the play-by-play.
CD: Reliving it?
BKU: Also Waka Flocka Flame is the best name ever and I giggled every time I saw it in print.
CD: Did you lose track of how many times he went to jail? Or rehab? I feel like there is a drinking game hidden somewhere here. “Goes to jail- take a shot” “Violates probation- take a shot!” “Misses the point of why he is incarcerated and/or in rehab- take a shot” “Fires a lawyer- chug your drink”
Also, if I get addicted to opiods and then get sent to prison will I lose weight too?
BKU: He lost twenty-five pounds because he hadn’t pooped in YEARS!
CD: Moral of the story. Drugs are bad! Not because they destroy brain cells and cause erratic behavior but because you’ll be less attractive physically!
BKU: I just loved the jail visit times because he seemed to focus more on losing weight than like…learning a lesson. Hearing about him finally pooping after kicking lean was delightful. And while I definitely suggest drinking as a way to cope with this book, a drinking game would likely kill you.
CD: I know you’re not a big Arrested Development fan but I kept thinking of the fourth season and the PSAs Rebel Alley had to do each time she got in trouble.
CD: So Gucci Mane has taught us that transposing rap lyrics, newspaper articles and album reviews help one achieve editor mandated word totals.
BKU: And that anyone, literally ANYONE can ‘write’ a ‘book.’
CD: I don’t know if he has entirely convinced me of that but I am sad it is over. I feel Gucci had so much more wisdom to share!
CD:This is not a good book. Gucci Mane is not a talented writer. Unless you also plan to live blog (well, live text) someone while you read it is most likely not worth your time. Unless you’ve been drinking lean. Then you’d probably hallucinate a better book.
BKU: I read most of this book in an airport bar while drinking $11 Moscow Mules. If you plan to read it, I would suggest drinking something MUCH cheaper because you will need a lot of it. Boone’s Farm, maybe.