I Just Can’t Do This Anymore

I did not finish this book. I spent days trying to read My American Duchess and I cannot spend anymore of my life on this. The back 40% can’t possibly save the first 60%. Halfway through this book, I realized I hated the characters and the plot. Shortly after that I realized I hated the author.

It starts off as a love triangle with all the tension of over cooked spaghetti. American heiress, Merry Pelford has just accepted the marriage proposal of Cedric Allardyce, the younger twin brother of the Duke of Trent. Shortly after becoming engaged, she meets a stranger on a dark balcony where they have a flirtatious conversation. Of course the stranger is her fiancé’s twin, the Duke. Of course he has fallen into immediate lust. Of course Cedric is an irredeemable asshole.

As soon as he placed the ring on her finger, Cedric begins negging Merry. Merry has broken off two previous engagements, so she is reluctant to break off a third. The Duke is roaring with lust. I think I might have had more respect for Merry if it wasn’t so immediately clear that Cedric was an ass. I cannot imagine why, after being damaged by two broken engagements, she wouldn’t do a lot more research before entering into a third, and in her mind, final engagement.

Spoilers. So anyway, a little more than halfway through, I thought Merry was poised to show some intelligence and break off the engagement and then Trent would have to woo her. Cedric, being a mustacheless mustache twirling villain, has witnessed Merry and the Duke kissing and now insists that they will marry, and marry in two days. And then the thing that almost made me throw my beloved iPad across the room happened. Having said her vows, Merry discovers that the Duke has replaced Cedric at the alter. Eloisa James, you can just fuck right off.

I think I used to like Eloisa James. She writes well. I haven’t read her books for a while. It got to the point where they were more of a slog than fun to read. If I’m going to slog through a book, I’m going to feel like I’ve at least been improved by it. This one was on sale for $1.99 and I bought it because I forgot about the slog part. But this was worse than a slog. This was a waste of $2, my time, and space in my brain. Eloisa James has fallen from my, maybe when on sale, to my fuck no list.