I was hesitant to read this book because I have read so many reviews that said that they were disappointed in it or the damning phrase, “It’s no Eleanor and Park”. I was surprised that I found myself loving this book, perhaps even more than Eleanor and Park because I can identify with this book more (now) based on where I am in my life. Now, let me start off by saying that I make a conscious effort not to take my husband for granted but just looking at the list of things I need to get done today next to me reminds me of all the outside factors that pull us in every direction except together. With three small children under the age of six, a very old dog, two pretty demanding careers, friends who want to see us and whatever small disaster arises in the house weekly sometimes it’s hard to think about our “love origin story” (I just made up that phrase so that we could all gag a little, sorry, I’m a bad person). I know I love the man, but I don’t always think about why I love him and what drew me to him. This book makes the main character think about the why and realize what she’s been doing wrong all these years as well as confront the question whether or not it’s worth fixing if she has the chance.
Georgie McCool is a comedy writer who works closely with her best friend from college Seth. Her husband Neal is the stay at home dad to their two little girls. Georgie drops a bomb on Neal that she can’t go with the family to spend Christmas in Omaha (to visit Neal’s mom) because she has a huge meeting and the possibility of her and Seth writing their own dream sitcom. Neal doesn’t take this news well and takes the girls by himself…and then doesn’t answer his cell phone when she begins calling him. Georgie’s mom sees this as he’s leaving her. Georgie isn’t sure herself but she knows that she doesn’t want to go home to an empty house and so she finds herself spending multiple nights at her childhood home where she finds her old yellow landline telephone. For kicks, she plugs it in and calls Neal…but she reaches Neal from 15 years ago in the past. At first she revels in talking to past-Neal, and it plunges us into the past as well as the reader gets to experience their “unlikely” courtship develop (I put that in quotes because I think we were supposed to get the idea that because he’s introverted and she’s extroverted that they were mismatched but I didn’t really see that). As the days pass and she continues talking with Neal she realizes that the problems of their past are still their current problems and that perhaps love isn’t enough. Is it fair to make someone unhappy, just because you love them?
And this is where I wanted to punch Georgie in the face (metaphorically, of course). Georgie is one of the most selfish characters that I’ve ever read. I can’t even imagine getting so wrapped up in my wants and needs that I wouldn’t realize that I’m causing my partner discomfort, sadness or pain for YEARS. And then I wanted to punch Neal in the face a little too (still metaphorically). If you’re unhappy, don’t become a martyr, sigh and then get angry because nothing ever changes! Neal, you’re a human being, not a doormat, tell her what you want and ask for change. Now that I’ve schooled these two fictitious characters on the powers of communication in a marriage I feel better. I think this is the problem that people may have with the book. He’s too passive aggressive, she’s too egocentric.
For one hot minute, they touched on something a little deeper though, it’s how they view the importance of family. And you can see that her thoughts influence her own actions with her family. She’s talking to past Neal and says something like,”It’s really nice that you’re going to visit your great aunt at the nursing home” and he responds, “She doesn’t have any other family and it’s Christmas, what else would we do?” She muses on that. Later, we learn that Georgie’s biological father died and she didn’t go to the funeral (because she didn’t really know him and it didn’t feel like he was ever her dad). While Neal is ok with her explanation (as was I), he learns that she sees parents as disposable/interchangeable–you deal with what you have but you never needed them in the first place. While this may be true for some people, I think the point being made about Georgie here is that she never learned how to be part of a family. She loves them but she’s kind of on the outside of how everything works because she never saw it actually work. This changes when she stays at her mom’s. She sees her mom so happily in love with her husband even though he’s only 3 years older than Georgie (eye roll to that detail). She sees her sister falling in love for the very first time with the pizza delivery person. And she herself remembers what she fell in love with, with Neal as they talk on the phone for hours. But will she use her magical telephone to the past to warn him away from her so that they both can find different happiness or can she change things in the present?
I’m with you on this vs. E&P. While I loved that book, this one just hit a chord in me. I’ve been married for 10 years, and there’s this way that Rowell writes about marriage and long-term relationships that just seemed so real to me. It was so well done, and unlike most of what I’ve read on the topic before.
I love this review and your perspective (coming from someone who was “disappointed” by this book.) At the heart of my feelings though, I think I totally agree with you — my difficulty in enjoying this was in no way due to the premise or the exploration of a staid or failing marriage, of which this was insightful and important, but rather due to the difficulty understanding the individual choices these characters made. I was a little harder on Neil and easier on Georgie than you were, which possibly says something about my youth and relationship priorities; I’ll let you know in 10 years!
I’m realizing that it’s probably harsh for me to downgrade the rating of a book based on my reaction to the characters — especially since it was probably close to the reaction she intended — but it just didn’t sit as joyfully with me as her other books and my lizard brain couldn’t discount that visceral reaction.
Great, thoughtful review. This book hit me hard and I’m not even married. My favorite Rainbow Rowell (so far). I’m with alwaysanswerb about being a little harder on Neil. His behavior at the beginning of the novel was really creeping me out.
I really love your perspective on this book. I neither loved nor loathed this book. And it’s hard when an author has put out a string of books that make me fangirl squeal to not be a bit disappointed when one fails to hit those heights. But I appreciated that while this may not be the fan favorite, it’s an enormously ambitious book. She’s wading into deep relationship waters here and using a pretty unusual (magic phone) plot device to do so. I don’t think she quite makes it work and the ending feels a bit overly neat. But I can appreciate what she’s trying to do and it’s definitely an interesting read.