It’s true — you’re not Mark Ruffalo

So this was kind of stupid, but in a fun way. Dave Horwitz & Marisa Pinson apparently started it as a blog, which I’ve never heard of, but their Upright Citizen’s Brigade credentials got me to pick it up. Their early deal-breaker that stated, “You’re not Mark Ruffalo” (“Look, we’ve tried everything, but you’re not Mark Ruffalo”) kept me reading.

It’s basically a list of reasons not to date a person — either by refusing to date them at all, or break up with them at later stages. Some of them are practical (“your bad hygiene”, “your ironic mustache”), many are absurd or hilariously nit-picky (“your Velco sandals”, “your creepy roommate”). Each dealbreaker — and there are many — comes with a short description and an illustration. Unfortunately, I read the e-book and the formatting of the illustrations was pretty messed up. It also comes with the occasional “Dealmaker”, i.e. “You’re the right kind of nice”, as well as some…well, they call it wisdom.

Anyway, it’s a fun read that made me laugh a few times, and definitely surprised me in a few spots. Worth the hour or so to read it, especially if (like me), you’re unfamiliar with the material.